Why are we so afraid of not fitting into society’s box?
A while ago, I came across a line from Leonard Cohen’s song Anthem that stayed with me: “There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.”
Sometimes, we all need to hear the right words at the right moment. For me, those words found me exactly when I needed them. They reminded me of something we all forget sometimes: We don’t have to become the person society expects us to be. We don’t have to follow a certain path, reach certain milestones, or fit perfectly into a box someone else created.
Childhood
When I was little, I wasn’t good at sports. All my classmates in elementary school were better than me at playing volleyball, running faster than me, or vaulting the buck better than me.
Despite the fact that I was good at other subjects such as grammar, reading, and writing in foreign languages, I almost always thought that something was wrong with me because of my weaknesses that were highlighted by my bad grades in sports class.
Imperfection
As we grow up and become adults, it is the same. We go through similar situations.
We all tend to find our imperfections within us. Society wants to point out what we aren’t good enough at, regardless of all the other things we thrive in.
Despite the efforts we make to fit in this world, we sometimes come to the impression that we don’t fit in the box.
No matter how good-looking you are, how many good grades you have, or how good of an employer or entrepreneur you are, there is always some room left for self-criticism imposed by society.
We often fall into the abyss of finding our physical flaws or professional weaknesses. And here, I am not trying to say that there is something wrong if you want to be more fit or want to improve your labor or entrepreneurial skills.
Standards
My dilemma here is that we don’t have to fit into society’s standards.
We are all programmed by society to believe that we are wrong because we don’t fit into a template, that there is a unique size and if you don’t fit it, bad luck, you are out.
We are all different. We can’t be good at everything; we can’t do everything just because other people are doing it.
You are you, with your strengths and weaknesses, with your goods and bads, with your ups and downs. And this is exactly what defines your uniqueness: the imperfection you bring to the world.
Imagine a world where we all look the same, dress the same, think the same, etc… How boring would that be? I don’t even wanna imagine.
Pressure
From the moment you wake up until you reach your bed to go back to sleep, there is a continuous strive that comes from our external world in “how to” and “how not to.”
This, unfortunately, leads you to believe that you aren’t enough, don’t have what you are supposed to have, you are not where you should be, or you don’t have the body you should have.
So, who is to tell us all those things?
Authenticity
Ok, I agree with us being inspired by everything we see, hear, or read, but make your own choices in the end. You know what’s better for you, what food makes you feel better, how to learn faster and more efficiently, what clothes fit you better.
What’s good for me might not be good for you. So don’t copy me just because what I am wearing is in trend right now. And this applies to every life situation.
We tend to copy each other so we can fit into the standards “required” by the world around us. And if we don’t, we might lose chances to be cool or to be accepted — this is how most of us think.
Stop making everything in your life meet the world’s expectations of you. Explore your undiscovered authenticity instead.
Illusion
Moreover, since AI was born, we are bombarded even more by fake content. Our human culture is changing. Don’t trust what’s “out there.” That sexy voice you hear telling you that you don’t fit in the “box” might not even be real.
Don’t compare your imperfections to a world where perfection means being all the same.
Acceptance
Accept your flaws and weaknesses. Improve them if you can, but don’t feel less if you can’t. We are not meant to triumph all in the same way at the same time.
Forget about the marketing world that strikes you and trying to sell you something from the first moment of the day when you open your eyes, touch your cellphone, or check your email.
Find what incites you the most and trust your intuition.
Social media is trying hard to show you every day a different way of living that is much better than yours right now. Influencers attempt to tell you what you should eat, drink, wear, believe, think, love, or not.
We need to accept ourselves how we are. Don’t accept receiving advice that doesn’t fit your life just because everyone else does it.
Before I go, I want to leave you with something to think about…
Let the “crack” you might have be part of your life, so the light — as Cohen says — can get inside you and let you shine from within.
